the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
