is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
