I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So. Much. Porn.
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