dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize