The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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