if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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