Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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