im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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