I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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