I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
