I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
