I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's always time for handjobs
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
