he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
