Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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