do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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