I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
