I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
