sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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