I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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