just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
