He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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