Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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