i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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