Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
