HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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