WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
