Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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