If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
