i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
