In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You're completely useless in the revolution.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
