hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
