Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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