In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
