My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
