he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
