I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There r osticjed everywhere
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A bitchslap is in order.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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