i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
this is an emotional support booty call
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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