Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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