We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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