bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
