Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
