Me too!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize