i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
