I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Randomize
