How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
