I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
