Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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