I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
