Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize