Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
