I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
