i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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