do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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