Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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