I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
