She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
