Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
