Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Watching her eat just hurts me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
