Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
