After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
