and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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