I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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