Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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