Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
