so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
