She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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