I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
