I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
