with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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