who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
